It’s universally known that you can’t keep doing the same thing over and over again, and expect different results.
And yet, we often forget this adage when it comes to dating.
Whether it’s the quiet creative, the alpha gym-bro or the one that makes everyone laugh, we all have a type.
And no matter how many failed flings we have with said type, we keep going back for more.
This is especially true when you’re on dating apps. With not much to go on apart from a few pictures and ‘witty’ prompts, you’re likely to end up matching people that fit your oft-cited brief.
But, according to TikToker, Sam Doll, this is where we’re all going wrong.
Sam met her husband on Hinge, and said it’s all down to what she’s dubbing, the Filet-O-Fish theory.
The premise is simple. When you walk into a McDonald’s, you probably have a good idea of what you’re going to order. It’s most likely the same thing you always get, some crispy chicken nuggets or perhaps the iconic Big Mac.
What probably hasn’t even remotely crossed your mind, is a Filet-O-Fish because, well, why would it?
But, Sam says it’s time to start switching up that order.
‘I implore you to order a Filet-O-Fish on Hinge,’ she said. ‘That is, I implore you to swipe on someone that you like for completely different reasons than “they are your type.”‘
Sam explained: ‘When you’re on Hinge you kind of just swipe on the same people. You’re attracted to a certain type, or you see elements of people that are your type.
‘As a result of only looking for your type, you might ignore certain red flags.
‘For example, I was primarily swiping right on gingers that looked emaciated and were covered in tattoos.
‘Here’s where the Filet-O-Fish theory comes in. You know when you go to McDonald’s, you kind of order the same thing every single time.
‘What would you never order at McDonald’s? Is it a Filet-O-Fish?’
Sam says that her husband was very much not her usual McDonald’s order, as it were.
‘Joe wasn’t my type at all,’ she said. ‘He’s a Filet-O-Fish.’
But, it all worked out – proving her point.
‘Sometimes you go off book and you realise: “Hmm, this frozen fish battered and fried actually tastes amazing, and I’m going to marry it.”‘
The good news is that breaking out of your specific type is pretty easy. Here are some tips:
- Open your mind to people outside your usual ‘type’. If you have a long list of qualities your date ‘needs’ to hold, have a rethink. Does he really need to be over 6ft and have an Irish accent? Could you be ruling people out for reasons that actually don’t really matter?
- You can still have standards. This is about being a little more flexible and open minded. It’s not a reason to accept shoddy behaviour, or ‘settle’ for someone you don’t really vibe with.
- Mix up your own approach. If you keep going to the same bars, or have the same opening chats with people, it might be time to make some changes. It’s not just who you date, but how you date.
- Give people a chance. Take a shot on something – or someone – different.
You’ll never look at your cheeseburger in the same way again.
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